Arshalians

Foreword
As Harrican Syldanade is the only person to have ever interacted with the Arshalians before their untimely demise, he is the only real source of info on them. Fortunately, rather than being forced to rely on hearsay, the author managed to get an interview with the elusive Syldanade. The following is his first-hand detailing of his discovery. (Author's lines will be marked with FVM: )

Initial Discovery
FVM: So, how did you happen to discover the Arshalians? A reclusive people in the most inhospitable area of a backwater planet that just happens to be one of the ten most inhospitable planets in the system... why were you even in the area?

HS: Well, as you know well know, exploring is in my blood. And who else would explore the Dreadfire Flats but me? Ashmanning? Pff, not a chance. He's not suited to traverse such harsh lands. I mean, I've explored the Syvblixt Mountains, survived for a month in the forests of Rivalon V, fought the head monks of the Shintuda temple...

FVM: Aren't the Shintuda pacifists?

HS: They are now!

FVM: Anyways... about the Arshalians.

HS: Oh! Right. So, after three days in the Flats, I was kinda getting sick of eating nothing but my rations. I started looking for other things I could eat, but all that I could really find were some berries with some very, very powerful hallucinogenic properties. After the effects of those wore off, however, I quickly found a village and entered in the hopes of finding some form of restaurant. What I found instead were, well, some of these.

HS hands FVM a drawn picture (Pictured above)

FVM: They look... well, they look interesting. I've never seen something like it before.

HS: Neither had I! And apparently, judging by their reaction to my arrival, they'd never seen someone like me before, either! They started shrieking and squealing and running towards me, knocking me over and piling on top of me. I was a bit worried at first, but quickly realized that they weren't actually trying to hurt me - they were just robbing me blind. After a couple minutes, they all got off of me, clutching random possessions of mine. One had my spare ship key, a few of them had some various coins that were in my pack, and a couple others had some things I didn't even recognize. Though, honestly, I can't be expected to remember all of the things I carry at all times. At that point, a couple of them ran off and quickly brought back another one of their people, wearing a crown made of a rock. He gibbered at me for a while, but all I could really understand was that they were called Arshalians. Or that his name was Arshalian. I'm not entirely sure. "Arshalians" made a good name for them, though, so I went with that.

Ashalian Way of Life
FVM: So, what can you tell us about the village?

HS: Well, they really, really, REALLY liked rocks, from what I could see. Their houses were made out of rocks. Their tables were made of rocks. Their weapons were made out of rocks. Hell, I'm pretty sure they even cooked with rocks. Must have been a byproduct of them living in a place that was surrounded by almost nothing BUT rocks. They also liked stealing. None of the rocks seemed to actually BELONG to anyone, though - the Arshalians seemed to just take whichever ones they wanted whenever they wanted to, even if someone else was using it at the moment. It actually seemed to be how they amused themselves. Hell, even the crown didn't seem to belong to anyone in particular.

FVM: Really. That's kinda... strange. How'd they keep track of who was in charge?

HS: That's the thing. They just seemed to treat whoever had the crown as their ruler. Someone would just swipe the crown, then stand on top of the nearest elevated surface, and start babbling at the rest of them, and the rest would all turn and start listening to him. Then, when he was done, someone else would take it and the process would start again. It was all really quite weird.

FVM: I see. Is there anything else you can tell me about the village?

HS: Not much, actually, as it was at around this time when I realized what one of those objects were that had been stolen from me.

The Arshalian Downfall
FVM: And what might that have been?

HS: Well, to be to the point, it was a bomb. A very, very powerful bomb. One of those "you don't want to be on the same continent when it goes off" bombs. I'm not even sure who snuck that one into my bag, but I don't really care. After so many attempts on your life, you just get bored of them. All you really care about is making sure that each attempt doesn't succeed. In this case, making sure I didn't die involved ditching the bomb with those poor bastards and getting back to my ship as fast as possible, grabbing a bunch of those hallucinogenic berries on the way back. Apparently, I made it off the planet two days before the Dreadfire Flats became the Dreadfire Crater.

FVM: Wait. So you're saying you're the one responsible for the Dreadfire Cataclysm?

HS: Meh. It's not like anyone really cared for the place, anyways. And anyways, civilization got gronga berries out of it! So I count it as a win!

FVM: Wait. You're the one responsible for the most addictive psychotropic substance known to mankind?

HS: ... wait. I probably shouldn't have mentioned that last part. Can we leave that part out?

FVM: Sure, no problem. It'll be our secret. Thank you for your time, Harrican! I know you're a busy man.

HS: Hah! I sure am! We'll have to do this again sometime. I have plenty of exploits to discuss!